Friendship problem: Y U EXPECT ME TO REMEMBER YOUR BIRTHDAY?

Seriously! What is with people and their birthdays? Okay, I get it! Birthday is like THE DAY of the entire year, the day that you can be the boss, the day you can do whatever you want and people will listen to you and maybe THE ONLY DAY that people care about you or write on ur damn facebook wall and realize you FKING EXISTS!

Sorry, I know birthdays are super important and meaningful for most people and it does to me too! Its the day my mum went through shit loads of pain to bring me into this world, and that's why i love my mum and I let her scream at me without saying a single word back. But other than that birthday isn;t that much of a deal for me anymore, cause its just a yearly alarm telling me "OI FATASS, YOU ARE ONE YEAR OLDER AND U R STILL UNSUCCESSFUL" ...

For those people who have an awesome life, with a super protective family, GPA 3.9, a perfect body and love life...basically, a person that lives in a fking GREENHOUSE, birthday is like the day that they can be THE ONE AND ONLY PRINCESS, like the PRINCESS of the PRINCESS, as if they are the only thing that matters in the entire damn world. And us peasant will have to bow and give them gifts, write on their facebook wall and preferably pay for their party n give them a surprise. To be honest there are many people out there that acts like this and tbh, i dun give a damn. I dun mind u acting like that, as long as i dun have to give a lot of effort doing all this...the MAX i can do is type a line on ur wall or maybe just show my face at dinner or sth. But there is ONE condition...

TELL ME WHEN IS UR FUCKING BIRTHDAY!

Really, who da fuck in the world nowadays still remembers people's birthday, well i dun! There are only 2 people's birthday (excluding myself) i rmb... MY PARENTS!! I don't even remember my closest friend's birthday so i SERIOUSLY HATE it when people goes i-wun-tlk-to-u-coz-u-missed-my-birthday! Fuckin's greenhouse princess...if u want people to remember ur damn fking birthday and get all the attention, PUT IT ON DAMN FACEBOOK! If for whatever gay and fake reason u've decided to PRIVATE that damn date... then dun expect ANY FKING ONE to remember it! OKAY? There is a fking price to pay for attention...what are you?! huh?! unless you are the god damn queen and ur birthday gives me a fking holiday, then SORRY, i will NEVER-EVER remember ur fking birthday.

I am sorry for not being a "good" friend remembering ur birthday. I sometimes really hate myself for keep changing friends group and getting into fights with people. Obviously, I have a problem...which is mega bitchy and needy. Yeah I got that...that is why when I get into fights with people, I always question myself, "should i go and talk to them", "should i say sorry?". Normally, i would go do that if i give a damn about that person, but sometimes, I dun. Those are the times when I wonder if this is the time where I can escape from a particular relationship that I m super tired of. Some people are just really hard to deal with. A friend asked me "why do you wanna work for ur friendship, it should come naturally"....it really struck me. Then I thought back...which are the friendships that I did not needa work for.....those are the ppl that understands me, that knows me, not "haha i noe u are crazy"...but they actually know how to deal with me when i m pissed / sad and always there next to me and I dun feel the guilt of taking those love cause they wun come back to me and say "i did a,b,c,d,e,f,g for u now its ur turn to pay back".

I can be honest with you and say.... i might be one of those WORST friend you can ever get, but at least I know and I accept it and most importantly i m REAL. Someone once said to me, "I love hanging with u, i dun needa think around u cause you are so real and there are no traps around u". Isn't that what friends are? I've been back stabbed, bitched and bullied in high school, i used to try super hard to regain friendships. But I think my friends r right, I needa stop working for friendships. But then, what if I was the one that did something rong, I should at least go say sorry right? To be honest, I dunno what to do. I guess am just tired and afraid. I've already tried communicating and crying, can even see backstabbing and a mega bitch fight coming and I am still here being sad and pissy. What is rong with me....Somehow I think I should learn how to let go and forget, i guess.....

Wish I could be determined enough to stand up for my dream

Human always have this tendency of ignoring what you have then staring and wanting what you do not have. In chinese, we have a saying called "rice next door always smells better". It's just like when you are a kid, you would do anything to make yourself grow up faster so u can start going into clubs, doing whatever you want without your parents nagging you. But when you've finally grown, you start to miss those days when you don't have to plan out your own stupid timetable, think about what to wear and worry that one day you will just look old and saggy, sitting in an empty house with cats around you.

This is exactly what I am going through at the moment. When I was in high school, I spent it all on imagining what it will be like to be in Uni, and now I'm in Uni, I spent the 3 years remembering those good old days in high school. Although I would die to relive my high school years, but I was also looking forward to this one special day - university graduation. Wearing that black fancy gown, walking around the school and proudly take photos with friends and family, the day I've been waiting for since the first semester in university and I just can't wait for it to come. But everything I want it to come faster, I seem to ignore all those things i need to sort out before that glamorous day- all the final exams and papers I need to get done, all the decisions I need to make for my future, basically all the pain in the ass shit.

There's only 27 days left for me in university (hopefully), and I realize I've sorted out ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Not only I have not done ANY revision, typed anything for my seminar and most importantly I have not sent out ONE application for jobs / postgraduate studies.

So Doomed 

Well I guess I can finish all the revision and essay in 2 weeks, but what about those that will determine my future? Should I work? Should I continue on studying? Most importantly WHAT job / course I want to study. I swear, up till this second my answer is still a big fucking fat I DON'T KNOW. I tried to figure that out for a long time, well maybe since I was in year 12, but i still do not have an answer. You might wonder why did I choose my current major? lol, cause my dad said it sounds cool. And why did I choose that masters program I am busily applying for? Oh, cause my dad said it would lead to a good career. Yes, I have to admit, its a no brainer that I am NOT going to succeed in any way cause its not even my passion, or something that I like, but as a freaking asian, what ur parents say is like the LAW, there is not way that you can do anything without their approval. Unless your parents tell you to be a lawyer and u said you wanna be a doctor. But since I have nothing to reject their proposal with and I have got the shittiest grades in the world, I just need to go with the flow.

To be honest, I do have things that I kinda like and would want to give it a shot at and since my parents kept telling me that "oh you can do whatever you want, we will support you. we are not stubborn at all", i was naive enough to tell them. I am a super crazy and outgoing person, love socializing and just basically interact with people, I had a dream of becoming a DJ when i was a kid or a PR, a manager for artists etc. I  also spent most of my live watching different TV shows, dramas and following celebrities, therefore I thought about doing communication, journalism or a super cool course i ran into called "TV and Radio script writing". Like a 5 years old kid going up to their parents asking for a toy, i went up to my parents suggesting doing these courses, thinking that they would actually consider it seriously and give a good thought. But within split seconds my mum was like "can u be serious about your future and do something productive, these are just useless crap!". That was the moment i realize, it really doesn't matter what I like, it is the matter of fact if they approve it or if they think it is something they can tell all their friends and family with pride. I guess if i want it bad enough and determined about it, of course i can turn things around, but its my fault that I am a sad little puppy that is too frightened to tell them and to stand up for myself.

Well, I am just saying all these to moan about my life. Yes, I'm a fking coward that is destined to fail since I am not willing to stand up and do something about it. But i guess, this is indeed a safer path to take and I guess i just have to brighten my life up by going to korea more often.

Heading back to revision as I've had enough time moaning about my life and being "unproductive",

PAIN OF MY LIFE

Woah, I've ditched my blog for nearly a month. I have a reason: I WAS BUSY.

Shit loads happened in march: SJ Concert, HKAMF Concert, Mid-terms and dissertation. Obviously the last 2 took like maybe 4 days MAX in this month since I've been taking my easter break a whole MONTH earlier. I should start to panic since theres like a month left till I graduate = I need to finish EVERYTHING, and i just went to Disneyland today, going again on thursday (burden of having an annual pass) and a house party on saturday, not to mention all the TV shows i need to watch. Lets hope i will get back on the intense mode soon!!!!!!

Anyway, there is a point to writing this blog so lemme announce the BIG EXCITING NEWS:

I AM ON A DIET

FUCK MY LIFE

Yeah, since I've gained so much weight through out winter, now i realize i can't wear a normal t-shirt without seeing my HUGE tummy! @@ its ridiculous! so I've decided to go on a diet. Well its only my 3rd day and I've already lost 3pounds with cutting carbs! I only ate veggie in disneyland, dafuq did i do tht? (proud) but its SO HARD and its not even noticeable!  i only noe i m loosing weight when i m on the damn scale! i still have my huge tummy and elephant legs! Fking annoying! And its especially hard when its holiday time and ppl keep asking u to go out for dinner and i just got addicted to baking! HOW M I SUPPOSE TO GO CARBS FREE WHEN I REALLY WANNA TO BAKE??:(

So I've started looking around different blogs and see how ppl lose weight, and Ive come to a conclusion that the FASTEST and most OBVIOUS way to loose weight is NOT cutting carbs or exercise, the secret is DIET PILLS! Many people are not willing to tell people what pills they are taking and if they do, they are advertising == so I've take matter into my own hands and RESEARCH MUAHSELF!

I used to eat diet pills, it worked really really well~ Ive never been as fat as i was in high school, but i m still fat (i wonder how did i live in high school== working around the school with fat dangling all over my body) but the other times i tried in uni, they never worked because i m too lazy...too lazy to even WAIT 30 MINS after the pill the eat breakfast so i failed. PATHETIC I know, but hey! This time i m gonna work my ass off coz the one i want to try is pretty expensive, so lemme go order it now and WISH ME LUCK! lets hope the next time i blog i will give u good news!! <3

Too hungry to type anymore......

Super Hungry,
Mitchie

Super Junior Super Show 4 in Macau rant

You may or may not know, but i am a fking HUGE super junior fan for 6 years, and I m the crazy type, well not those that follow them home crazy, but the i try to find the drinks they had and buy 10 of them crazy :)))

Well, there will be 2 SS4 in Macau this friday and saturday. Us HK ELFs / other chinese ELFs went through shit loads because of SS4. For example,

• Concert was suppose to be held in HK, but SM had to pick the same day as 2PM, so since JYP gives a lot more shit abt HK, they booked the venue way before SM, so they had to go to macau.

• This concert was announced way after 2PM started selling tickets, so fans tht love both team had to give up one of them, in my case, i had to sell my VIP 2PM tiks :((

• They were UNABLE to settle things down so it was not until the 23/2 that tickets started selling.when the concert is on the 10/3

• Because the concert on 10/3 went full really quickly, retarded Macau host figure they would just add another show on the 9th and started selling it on 27 == DAFAQ? Of course super little people can go and bought the tickets (although i m going to this coz I REALLY WANNA HELP FILL UP THOSE DAMN FKING EMPTY SEATS)

• ALL ALLL EVERYSINGLE FKING SM artists' (not sure abt the others) have always had a 田shape stage coz thts how the olympic stadium in korea looks like. but since 2MONTHS IS TOO SHORT TO BUILD A STAGE with like 3 more TINY sides, Macau changed the stage to a 我a 王shape stage. NOT ONLY will us fans have a SMALLER chance of getting a close up shot at members but DAFAQ, WHY U CHANGE AN ARTIST'S STAGE?! 

Normal:

The Macau one:

As if these problems are not enough for us, little secondary school fans that recently got into SJ and think that they are super important started dissing the 9/3 concert, its like 

"oh since not many ppl are going and chants will be really quiet, its gonna suck why bother giving them materials to support SJ, lets just all focus on the 10th show". 

EXCUSE MUO? OH HELL NO GURL, REALLY? U SHOULD NOT BE ALLOW TO GO TO THE 10th OR CALL URSELF A FKING ELF?! the entire DAMN point of chanting and supporting is not to show how FKING COOL U R! is to support SJ and give them credit for giving us an awesome SHOW, unless u think tht people on stage at the 9th show are NOT SJ, U BETTER SHUT THAT DAMN FUCKING CAKE HOLE OF URS! IMMATURE MUCH?! 

Through out these 6 years, I have seen many young new fans joining us, n i m really grateful for all the love and support they give to SJ. But I've seen a lot of different other fans,

• those that ONLY like their looks n nothing else
• Those that only like ONE member and diss others

And the most annoying ones

• think THEY KNOW IT ALL, and we will DIE without them

Darling, we are here as ONE! we need people from fanclub to help us organize, they need us to help carry out functions, we are here as a group to show support towards our idols. There is no I or ME in this society, so u better start thinking if u r WORTH being here or ANY OTHER fan group! 

Anyway, enough with my RANT, there is actually something AMAZING I wanna share. For the first time in 6 years, I actually bought one of those LIGHT FAN SIGN that glows!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Retarded I know :P BUT I NEED ONE!!! Since lee teuk is gonna go to the army soon and that this might be the last time i see him in person I NEED TO GIVE HIM AS MUCH SUPPORT as i CAN <3 So i went on TAOBAO and bought a light fan sign and here it is!! 

TA DA

the moment when u see the parcel in ur room feels like youve finally met you internet BF <3

this is like the first time ive used scissors since forever! i refuse to rip this over!!! 

OMG!! ITS HERE

There are so many fake stuff from china, so this "already checked" doesn't mean much to me tbh :P

but surprisingly, its SO FKING GORGEOUS!

it even has a HANDLE, like the ones on suitcases and this battery thing.

*finger crossed* this is gonna be safe!

Love how they are super sweet n gives u a guide on using this <3<3

the handle is extendable, HOLY SHIT!

the awesome company that made this for me <3

When lights r on. and this photo does it NO NO NO justice! the lights are SOOOO fking bright, my eyes hurt looking at it!
TEUK will be able to see it from afar! <3 Can't wait

I am super super excited! So there are 2 days left till my 9/3 concert! Can't wait and if you are going, ENJOY THE SHOW! If u r not, WELL ENJOY the SS4 u r gonna see or seen and 

I LOVE U FELLOW ELFs and SJ <3 

Mega love,
Mitchie

You fucking thief

I have no idea what is happening in my disgusting life, so many annoying shit is happening in it.

So first, fucking time is flying like crazy, Ive been sick for a while and when i got better, 2 weeks of school were GONE, like damn LOST! I was so freaked out!! I have so much catching up to do, revision and reading research paper. Its already fking MID FEB! This is CRAZY!

Then I have this shity cousin that I NEVER spoke to for the fast damn 20 years and now that she is getting married, she asked me the play the damn piano for her. Just FYI, I haven't touched tht black and white shit for about 5 years now and I dun fking rmb where the middle C is, i swear. So I spent my X'mas eve, NY eve and CNY practicing, but with my stupid damn brain, I still can;t play one of them and the wedding is at 24/3. I AM FUCKED.

Then the most ridiculous happened to me today, so I was buying double eye lid tape for my eyes cause after so many sleepless nights, my left eye lid randomly decided that it is bored of being a tempered eye and have went on to become a parallel eye lid, when my right eye lid decided to stay tempered. WELL FUCKING DONE! Now one eye is big and one is small. So since i keep loosing my tapes, i decide to stop looking for it and get a new one. So i walked in, pay a freaking HKD$128 for a brand "new" pack of tapes and went for dinner. When i got home, and wanna check out my tapes, the box opened SUPER EASILY, I didn't think much and just pour everything out of the box and guess what!

THERE WERE NO TAPES IN IT AT ALL!!! 

It looks totally fine ...

But if u look carefully, u can actually see tht there is nth. Well if figure this out after i got it!

Look at the tape!!! its so old and have obviously been tempered with!

Its a fucking CLEAN CUT on the damn tape!!! WHO DA FUCK WOULD DO THAT!!!

WHAT DA FUCK IS THIS SHIT?! SOMEONE STOLE IT AND LEFT THE PACKAGING THERE SO SOME MORONS LIKE ME THAT IS LIVING IN HELL CAN PAY THEM FOR U??

I AM CURSING THE SHIT OUT OF THT FKING SLUT TO BE OBESE FOR HER ENTIRE LIFE, HAVE UGLY ZITS ALL OVER HER SKIN & WILL FOREVER STAY WITH HER, DRY & SMELLY VAJAYJAY AND DIE FKING ALONEEEEE!!!! 

Seriously, one does not SIMPLY steal and leave the damn packaging there! If u r gonna steal, have the damn guts to steal the whole thing, don't steal like a fucking pussy!

So now, I will have to call Log-on tomorrow morning and tell them this pathetic story and hope they will trust me and not think that I opened it, kept those tapes and made this story up. No fuck, I work my ass off and earn my own money to buy this shit to try and have balance eye lids. So they better GIVE ME ANOTHER ONE or give me a damn REFUND!

ARGH.....LIFE WITH PUSSY THIEF IN IT!


I feel like calling the police atm,
Mitchie

I NEED A JOB!.....

Its not even funny how broke I am, okay maybe its not that big of a deal since I can still go

dad, my bank account is freaking empty, can you fill it up please.

But srsly, the older I get and people around me start saying shit like

OHHHMYYYGODD! I.T was on sale and I went WILD and got HKD$3000 worth of clothes! What am I gonna do without my flute students?

Okay, point taken! You earn your own money and so you can just pour them like freaking water into the god damn pacific ocean. So I started my so exciting job hunting adventure, since I have no experience apart from a few interns and volunteered in random organizations, I basically have NO talent at ALL! I gave up on piano cause I never bother to practice, I suck at school work cause I have absolutely no self control or time management and even if I can speak 4 languages, I know nothing about grammer, as long as I think something sounds okay-ish, its good to go. So seriously, what can I do? Since I'm chinese, and for some reason I went to international school and can speak decent english, my only hope was to teach english........to primary school kids.

So I got this job last semester to teach 8 weeks of phonics to year 1 & 2 kids, oh did i mention i hate kids? I have 0 patient and I am a total BITCH. After tht 8 weeks, it used up all the "dealing with kids under the i-can-deal-with age" quota and didn't renew the contract. At the end of the day, i am:

a) broke
b) annoyed
c) ........."too uneducated to have a decent vocab list to fill this blank in"

After moaning about to everyone I know (which is only a few since I am such a bitch), one of them suggested working as a sales person in a boutique. Looking at ones that are hiring and do not need to deal with woman that are 50 or above with ridiculous requests, she short listed it down to Hollister, Forever21, Jack Wills and other well known brand. Since someone I know is already working in Jack wills so..*beep* next. Forever21 has 9 hours shift, and since I still wanna graduate on time this year....*beep* next. Hollister........ hm, not bad, its close to home, i get discount and its cool.

 So I asked a long lost classmate which i never talked to after graduating high school about it since she worked there before, she was super super nice and gave me all the information i needed, now the only thing i need to do is -

talk to the manager, apply, interview, get the damn job, receive pay check, and ...

But...(yeah, life's a dick so there's ought to be a but to every good thing out there) being an insecure piece of crap, i start youtubing about the interview, the criteria and how people get to apply in the first place. Turns out...managers invite good looking people to work for them, and unless you are pretty and suits the hollister style, you won't get in. BURNNNNN MITCH! Last time you checked in the mirror you are what? Short? asian? acne skin? and whats that? ohhh F-A-T! Please don't embarrass yourself and give the manager a hard time to reject you.

Now I am back to square one, go find you annoying ass a job so you dun need to beg for money from your parents. Maybe I need to lower my standards or just bring lunch and delete the word WANT from my already very tiny glossary. Sigh....                         how life is when you reach wayyyy too high.

Love,
Mitchie